Keeping Going
Your Own Checkup Has Slipped: How to Tell the Gap Before It Becomes the Problem
The first sign of a caregiver running down is often a missed appointment for himself, so learn the simple check that shows the gap.
Most caregivers do not notice their own health slipping. They notice that the sheet is full, the house is quiet, and the one appointment they keep meaning to make moves to next month. The problem is real, and it has a simple test: when did you last sit in a room with your own doctor, for your own reasons?
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
The date test
Look at your calendar or phone for the last time you saw your own doctor. If the answer is more than a year back, or you cannot find it, you have the gap. Write down the date and the name of the clinic. You do not need to explain it to anyone yet.
The small signs
Gaps tend to show up in ordinary things before they show up anywhere a test would catch them. Notice whether you skip meals on your busiest days, whether your own prescriptions run out before you think of them, and whether you stop answering calls from people you usually talk to. Notice whether your sleep comes in pieces you cannot string together. None of these is a diagnosis. They are signals that your own care has dropped off the sheet.
Who is not on the sheet
Go down the day sheet and find your own name. If the only lines with your name are tasks for her, your own needs have no row at all. Add one line for your own appointment, one for your own refill if you take anything, and one for a meal you eat sitting down. Those rows give the gap a place where it can be seen.
Make the first call
Book the next available visit with your own doctor, even if it is weeks away. Ask the office what you should bring. If you cannot leave her for that visit, ask a relative, a neighbor or a hired hand to sit with her for the length of the appointment. The options on the local help page can help you find a sitter if your family cannot cover it.
For a wider view of what help exists where you live, see Local Help for Husband Caregivers.