The day sheet
She Heads for the Door When You Start Another Task. Catch the Pattern Before the Door Opens.
Use one day sheet to record when she approaches the exit, what was happening just before it, and who takes over when you cannot watch the door.
You are putting supper on the table when you hear the front lock. Your wife is standing at the door with her hand on the knob. She may say she needs to go home, meet someone, check the mail, or simply leave.
The first problem is the open door. The next problem is that you do not know what keeps bringing her there. If you treat every trip to the door as a separate surprise, you spend the day reacting. Put the pattern on one sheet instead.
Start the sheet at the first approach to the door
Do not wait until she gets outside. Record the earlier signs: she puts on a coat, picks up her purse, looks for keys, walks from room to room, asks what time it is, or says someone is waiting.
Write down four things each time:
What time it started. What she was doing just before it started. What you were doing. What happened next.
Keep the wording plain. A useful entry might say: 5:20 p.m., television turned off, I started cooking, she picked up her purse and walked to the front door, sat with me at the kitchen table after I asked her to fold napkins.
That entry gives the next person something usable. A note that says she was confused does not.
Look for the task that leaves the door uncovered
Mark every period when you cannot see or hear the main exit. Include showering, using the toilet, changing bedding, taking laundry to another floor, bringing in groceries, speaking on the phone, and helping her in another room.
Then compare those periods with her trips toward the door. You are looking for a repeated gap, not an explanation of her behavior.
If she usually approaches the door while you prepare supper, the supper routine needs a handoff. If it happens when a home care worker leaves, the end of that shift needs a door check. If it happens after dark, the evening transition needs its own plan.
Check the door setup at the same times every day
A locked door can become unlocked during an ordinary care day. Someone brings in a package. An aide leaves. You take out trash. A family member arrives and assumes you will lock up behind them.
Put a door check on the right side of the day sheet after every predictable opening. Name the person responsible. Write front door locked and alarm or chime active only after that person has checked it.
Do not write check doors without naming which doors. Include the front door, back door, garage entry, patio door, and any gate that leads away from the house.
Also check whether you can hear the door signal from the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and the place where you sleep. A signal that only works when you are sitting beside it does not cover the day.
Test what the helper does when she reaches the door
Your backup needs more than a warning that she sometimes tries to leave. Give the helper the exact sequence you use.
Write down the first words that usually settle the moment, the place you guide her toward, and the familiar activity you offer next. Keep the steps short enough to use while standing at the door.
Ask the helper to show you the sequence before taking a shift alone. Watch for hesitation over whether to block the doorway, argue about where she lives, search for you, or leave her unattended while making a call. Those pauses are early signs that the handoff is incomplete.
Record who the helper calls if the usual sequence does not work. Put the names and numbers beside the door plan, not in a phone that may be somewhere else.
Mark the point when one person cannot cover both jobs
Some household tasks require you to lose sight of the door. Some care tasks require both hands and your full attention. Circle those times on the sheet.
For each circled period, choose one arrangement: another person watches your wife, another person completes the household task, or the task moves to a time when help is present.
If none of those arrangements exists, the sheet has found the uncovered part of the day. Do not hide it by writing keep an eye on her. That is not a handoff.
Write the missing person procedure before you need it
Keep a current description of what she is wearing with the day sheet. If taking a quick photo is already part of your household routine and she accepts it, keep that with the information you would need to share.
Write the places she tends to walk toward, the names she may use, and whether she is likely to answer her phone. List the nearby person who can check outside while you stay by the phone.
If you cannot find her promptly, call emergency services. Be ready to give her name, description, clothing, last known location, direction of travel if known, and any information the dispatcher asks for. Do not leave the house unsecured or abandon another person who depends on you while searching.
Review the sheet after supper and before bed
At the evening check, count approaches to the door, not just times she went outside. Compare them with meals, visitors, shift changes, noise, household work, and periods when you were out of sight.
Move tomorrow's help toward the repeated gap. If the pattern keeps changing, continue the record and bring the specific entries to the clinician or care team who knows her. Ask what changes they want reported and whom to call outside office hours.
The day sheet is working when another person can see the risky period before it arrives. The job is not to explain every trip to the door. The job is to know when the door loses coverage, who owns it, and what happens next.