Safety
The Front Door Opens at Night: How to Spot Wandering Before She Gets Past the Step
Early signs that she is trying to leave show up in what she gathers, where she stands and when the house goes quiet, so learn them before the door opens.
Wandering often begins as a quiet change in routine rather than a dramatic walk out the door. The signs are in what she gathers, where she stands and when the house goes quiet. Learn to read them early, because the first moment you notice is usually the moment with the most room to act.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
What to watch for
Watch for her putting on outdoor clothes or shoes in the evening, collecting keys, a purse or a coat, or standing at the door as if she is waiting for a ride. Listen for statements that she has to go to work, pick someone up, or get home to a house she no longer lives in. Note the time of day when she is most restless. The hours after supper and the last hour before bed are the ones to watch closely.
Check the door set-up on your side
Walk the exits as she would see them. Check where the key hangs, whether the door opens without a key, and whether a simple chime or sensor would tell you from the bedroom that a door has moved. Test every alert before you rely on it. Do not set up any lock, latch or barrier that could keep either of you from getting out in a fire or any other emergency. If you are unsure what is safe for the doors in your house, ask the fire department or her doctor before you change them.
Log the pattern
On the day sheet, write the time, what she was doing, what she said and what she was carrying. After a week or two, the pattern will tell you more than memory does. Bring that log to her doctor and ask what to change in her routine and what to do if she gets as far as the door. Ask also what a bigger change would look like, so you know when to call sooner.
When you cannot stay awake
If you cannot stay alert through the hours she is most restless, the plan for overnight coverage belongs on the list now, not after the next incident. The local options are listed on Local Help for Husband Caregivers, and the wider picture of keeping her home is at Keeping Your Wife Home in St. Louis.