If She Falls Tonight, Who Comes? How to Tell Your Emergency Plan Lives Only in Your Head

Right now the plan for a fall is probably in your head. If she goes down while you are in the bathroom, or you go down while she is in bed, nobody else knows who to call, which key opens the side door, or what you can and cannot do alone. That is the gap this piece is about.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Check whether the plan exists

Ask three plain questions. Could a neighbor or relative find the number of the person you would call without searching your phone? Could someone get into the house without you getting up to open the door? Could you make a call from the floor, and could you reach the phone if you were lying there? If any answer is no, the plan is not written yet.

Put it on one sheet

Write one page and tape it inside a cabinet door at eye level. Keep a copy in her hospital bag or in the folder with her papers.

Start with the emergency number. Then add the non-emergency line for your local fire or rescue service. Ask them directly whether they help people up from the floor when no transport is needed, and what they need from the caller to send a crew. Write down their answer, not a guess.

Next, list two people with keys. For each one, write the phone number, whether they can come over at night, and whether they are able to help lift. If they cannot lift, the sheet should say so. The line to write is that nobody lifts her alone, and that you call for help instead.

Add her diagnoses in plain words, her doctor's office number, her pharmacy number, and the current list of what she takes. The list is for the people helping you to read. Giving out or sorting medicine stays with you, her doctor and the pharmacist.

Check the phone and the door

Keep a phone you can carry, charged, within reach of her bed and the bathroom. Test it once from the floor, because a phone that works on the kitchen table may not reach the spot where you would actually be lying.

Name who can open the door, where the spare key is, and the door code if there is one. Once a month, have the second key holder come to the door and let themselves in. If they cannot, fix that before the next night.

Read it aloud to the second key holder

Read the sheet out loud to the person who would come over. Ask them to tell you, in their own words, what they would do if they arrived and found her on the floor. If they cannot answer, or they say they would wait for you to get up, the plan is not finished.

Update the sheet when anything changes: a new door code, a new phone number, a change in what she needs, or a change in who can help. For local people and programs that may be able to step in, see Local Help for Husband Caregivers.