Her Right Hand Does Not Close the Way It Did: Size the Utensil Grip and the Cup Lid to Her Hand | Caring for My Wife

Adaptive utensils are sold by the handle and the picture on the box, but the handle has to match her hand, not the picture. A spoon that is too thick for her closed fingers will stay on the plate, and a cup with the wrong lid will spill at the first sip. Size the grip before you buy.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Measure her grip

Have her close her hand around a rolled towel or a foam roll she can hold. Measure the width of her closed grip with a soft tape. Then measure across her palm at the knuckles. Note which fingers close fully and which stay open. Write these three numbers on the day sheet at supper, so the next person uses the same set.

Match the handle

Compare three kinds of handle: a built-up handle, a bent handle, and a wrap-around sleeve. Check four things. Does the handle fit her closed grip without pinching? Does it stay in her hand if she loosens her grip a little? Is it light enough that she can keep it lifted for the whole meal? Can it go through the dishwasher, or does it need hand washing every night?

Match the cup

Check the lid and the spout before you buy. If she drinks from a cup with a handle, see whether she can hold the handle on the side she uses. Ask her therapist to watch her drink from the cup you are considering before you commit to a set. Do not buy a stack of cups until one has worked for a whole week.

Match the tray and her elbow

Seat her at the table the way she eats. Measure from the table top to her elbow when her forearm rests comfortably. If her elbow sits well above the table, the utensil will never reach the plate without her shoulder lifting. If she eats from a lap tray, check the lip height of the tray against her forearm, and check that the plate guard sits on the tray, not only on the table.

What to write down

Keep one card in the kitchen with the grip width, the palm width, her elbow height, the cup that worked, and the plate guard size. When a utensil goes missing or a new one is ordered, the card tells you what fits. The sitter or the person who serves supper should be able to read it without asking you.