My wife has Parkinson's and I cannot do this alone

In your wordswife has parkinson's I can't do this alone

The doctor named Parkinson's. This page does not add a course. It names the help that can walk into her own house, and the hour you should stop being the lift.

Caring for My Wife desk. September 2026. Sources checked 10 September 2026.

Wife has Parkinson's, I can't do this alone, is the sentence after the clinic visit, or five years after it, when the hours no longer fit one man. This desk will not describe how Parkinson's moves, will not guess at a stage, and will not name a tablet. Those questions belong with the physician who already treats her. What this page can do is put names on doors in St. Louis: sitting, personal care, the aging office, Medicare's line, and a second person at the transfer you should not do by yourself.

The help that comes to her own house

Missouri's health department names three types of care in the home. Home health is skilled, part-time, Medicare as the major payer, ordered by a physician. In-home care is the Medicaid kind: homemaker and personal care, requested at the DSDS Call Center, 866-835-3505. Private duty or private pay is funded by private money or insurance. No physician order is needed for an aide giving personal care, respite, or companion care. That third door is the four-hour block, the evening shift, and the overnight presence so you can sleep.

The National Institute on Aging describes the same work: an aide to help with personal care and/or company, bathing and dressing, light housekeeping, transportation, and errands. They do not provide skilled medical care. Sitting is the company half. Personal care is the bathing-and-dressing half. You can hire either half. You can hire both. Write the punch list. Do not ask a companion company to be a nurse.

Family Caregiver Alliance says about 50 percent of caregivers get no outside help at all, and that most people, when asked if there is anything someone can do, reply that they are doing fine. "I cannot do this alone" is the other sentence. It is enough. You do not have to wait until a fall writes it for you.

If she does not want a stranger in the house, Family Caregiver Alliance's hiring guide names it: tell the person that you need help, and that accepting hired care is something they can do to help you, not a sign you are going to abandon them. Be present at first. If the person a company sends is not a fit, ask for someone else. If that fight is the whole house, Dad Refuses Help is written for a person who will not let help in the door. This page stays with the hours you need this week.

What Medicare will not buy, and what it might

Medicare does not pay for 24-hour-a-day care at your home, or for custodial or personal care when that is the only care she needs. A person in the chair so you can go to your internist is that last item. The program does not cover it. Medicare does not pay for long-term care. You pay all costs for non-covered services, including most long-term care. You may be eligible through Medicaid if you meet your state's requirements, or you can use private long-term care insurance if she has a policy.

What Medicare may cover is skilled home health if she needs part-time or intermittent skilled services and is homebound. Ask the care team whether home health is in the plan. This desk does not enroll anyone and does not guess whether she is homebound. After the Part B deductible, you pay 20 percent of the Medicare-approved amount for covered durable medical equipment. Whether a specific device qualifies is a care-team question.

Missouri's Department of Social Services says MO HealthNet is different from Medicare and can help with benefits not normally covered through Medicare, like personal care services. Eligibility is a state determination. The aging office and DSDS are the doors. The Medicare sitting article is the longer payer map.

The lift, the fall, the second person

The National Institute on Aging says more than one in four people age 65 years or older fall each year, and the risk of falling and fall-related problems rises with age. NIA's room-by-room page says many falls happen at home and recommends leaving a light on in the bathroom at night or using a night light that turns on in the dark, plus putting night lights and light switches close to the bed. That is the five minutes before a lift, and it is the 2 a.m. trip you are currently doing in the dark.

Do not invent a transfer from this website. Ask the occupational therapist or physical therapist for a method and for equipment. A second person at the bed-to-chair hour is not a nurse. It is a person who was shown the same method, who stands on the side the therapist named, and who is not you for that hour so you still have a back at noon. The transfers page is when to stop doing it yourself.

Who to call in this metro

If her house is in St. Louis County, St. Charles County, Franklin County, or Jefferson County, start with Aging Ahead, supportive services in those four counties since 1973, including caregiving services. If she lives in the city, SLAAA is (314) 612-5918. The Missouri Senior Resource Line is 1-800-235-5503. United Way 211 is 211, 24/7. The National Family Caregiver Support Program can serve family caregivers of people age 60 or older.

If you served, VA doors exist on top of those. Aid and Attendance or Housebound can be added to a VA pension for qualified Veterans and survivors who need help with daily activities or who are housebound. You cannot receive both add-ons at the same time. A Homemaker and Home Health Aide is a trained person, supervised by a registered nurse, who comes to a Veteran's home to help with personal care and daily activities. VA St. Louis Health Care lists facilities at 1 Jefferson Barracks Drive and at 915 North Grand Boulevard. The VA Caregiver Support Line is 1-855-260-3274, weekdays 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET. Whether you qualify is VA's call.

ACL states that someone turning age 65 today has almost a 70 percent chance of needing some type of long-term care services and supports in their remaining years, and that women need care longer (3.7 years) than men (2.2 years). Those are national figures. They are not a forecast of her next year. They are why a name in the four-hour box belongs on the card now.

Paid placement, disclosed

New Plan Care is an independently owned non-medical in-home care company based in Chesterfield, Missouri. Daily routines, meals, bathing and dressing as personal care, company, a second person at the transfer hour, overnight presence, in Ballwin, Chesterfield, Eureka, Glencoe, Grover, Pacific, Valley Park and St. Louis. It does no nursing tasks. Call (314) 405-0887.

New Plan Care pays for this spot. It is a client of OwnersFirm, which publishes this site, so read it as an advertisement with a phone number rather than as a result, a rank or a recommendation drawn from any of the articles on this page.

Pocket card

1. Write the four hours: sitting, the transfer hour, overnight. Be exact.
2. Aging Ahead, or SLAAA (314) 612-5918, or Senior Resource Line 1-800-235-5503.
3. DSDS 866-835-3505 if you are asking about Medicaid in-home care.
4. If you served: VA St. Louis, and Caregiver Support Line 1-855-260-3274.
5. Ask the therapist for the transfer method. Stop being the lift.
6. Clinic medication list in the fridge folder. Spare key. Neighbor name.

What to do tonight

1. Write the hours you cannot cover this week. Transfers. Evenings. The night. Your own doctor.
2. Turn on the bathroom light before you go to bed. Night light near the bed. That is tonight's fall job.
3. One call in the morning. Private duty if you need hours this week. Aging office if you can wait. The care team if you are asking about home health or equipment.
4. If she refuses a stranger, say you need the help. Stay for the first visit.

When to ask the care team or the doctor

• Any question about the course of Parkinson's, tablets, doses, or "should she be on something" leaves this page. It belongs with the physician who named it. This site does not name drugs.
• Pain during a transfer, a new weakness, dizziness when she stands, or a fall that already happened. Tell the doctor even if she does not want you to.
• Ask whether Medicare home health is in the plan, and which tasks are nursing versus presence.
• Your own missed appointments belong with your internist. The National Institute on Aging says caregivers are less likely than others to get preventive health services.